Tag Archives: Love

loving well.

8 May

It’s the question I sometimes ask myself at night, when the light seamlessly fades into dusk then darkness and all that’s left is the hum of the box fan i’ve slept to for years. The que of its hum is my que to remember and recall what my day looked like. What i said, how i responded, and where the gaps are left to be filled… It’s a question, im afraid i don’t ask often enough- a question that holds a heavy weight with even just a few words.

Did i love well?

A friend of mine wrote an amazing “spoken word” kind of poem several years ago. She wrote about the desires of this world and the lack of fulfillment they provide. How it all ends with loving and wanting to be loved. She ends the poem with this power packed sentence that I still, years later, cant wipe from my brain;

“The age-old saying is true, what the world needs now IS love, because what the world needs now, is God.”

I think I too quickly forget the life-giving source in loving well.

________

I recall a walk in the snow, it was the winter time in 2008, and i was in Kansas City walking from my dorm room to the class room. It’s not that the distance between the two was this great length, it’s that Kansas City winters are as brutal as they come. Especially for this southerner that didn’t know what snow gear was and decided to trudge through the snow in canvas tennis shoes. (ps. worst idea)

I remember my hands feeling frozen, but my heart fully alive with questions spilling over. I was having this dialog with God, talking about the gaps I felt in me and it went something’s like this:

“I really fail at loving others and you, well. I wish i knew how…”

… and in an instant I heard a response in my heart, so gentle in its return, yet so stern and serious in its meaning:

“It takes me to love me, just as much as it takes me to love others.”

What I learned that day on my brutally cold walk, with chattering teeth and numb fingertips, is that the age-old saying is true, indeed… Yes of course what the WORLD in its vast expanse, needs love, but lets narrow our scope a bit.

What our neighbor, friend, family members or cashier checking us out at Kroger – what they need IS love, and not a weak attempt that comes from an obligated heart. We need to freely give and demonstrate the kind of love that comes from a living and breathing reality that says “apart from God, i can do nothing and that nothing includes loving people well!”

And that all sounds good and inspiring, because deep down we should all hope to look and sound and live like that.
But how do we do it?  Because loving people is HARD. It takes time and care and effort and sacrifice and… strength. It takes a lot of stuff that doesn’t come easily and natural.

But trust me, a list of how-to’s is not what we need. It may be helpful at times, but ultimately, what we need is God. His strengthening and His grace to fill the lack and gap our human nature was born with. 

So if you’re ever up late and recounting your day, like i do. Remembering the slip ups and opportunities you missed in showing and being love to another – when you’re feeling the weight of having to give and be something you don’t feel like you are capable of giving and being, i encourage you to pray this simple prayer over yourself, just as Paul prayed over the Thessalonian church and see if God doesn’t strengthen your heart to love greater in todays next opportunities:

“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father
– 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13

“for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace.” – Hebrews 13:8

Today, may our hearts be strengthened by the grace and wisdom of God to love one another.

death is an opportunity.

28 Feb

death can swallow you whole If you let it
leaving no space and time
a foe that makes no friends
unless you invite him in

the funny thing about death is
if you let it, it will make room
pushing open wide the curtains
letting light and beauty in, the filling and consuming kind

tender truth illuminates the deepest cracks of darkest pain
with the ashes of what once was now seen
the space for what can be becomes beautifully exposed
death is an opportunity if seen with bright eyes

a chance for new life
a new hope understood
a rescuing love now embraced
where the end seamlessly becomes the beginning

redemption awaits.

a sincere question.

13 Jan

“How can I pray for you?”

ive been asked this question plenty of times.
sometimes i was annoyed by it and felt as if it was someones duty at church to ask me this - as if it were just a protocol question, but i wouldn’t feel a genuine care from them…
and other times i was dying for someone to ask me that question. just waiting with anticipation – who will care about me, who will fight with me and help shoulder this weight that’s wearing me down?!

i have a feeling, there’s gotta be more people out there like me.
maybe you’re waiting for someone to ask you this question, wanting so badly to lean into someone else’s prayers for once.
your need for prayer could come from deep tragedy that’s left you living without hope, or maybe you’re having a crappy day at work and your kids are driving you bonkers, or maybe your dad was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and you feel like all breath and faith was just knocked out of you.
no matter the degree of trial or level of circumstances, there is always a part of you, that needs another. that needs someone to come into the trenches, grab a shovel, and help you shoulder a weight too heavy for one.

and here is the reason for the long paragraphs above.
i want you to know that there is someone who loves and cares about your needs, your struggles, and your pain.
i want to know how i can pray for you.
how i can agree with God about whats going on in your life or what you’re believing Him for, today.
i want that to become a new common trend with you, my friends, family, and others. i want it to be a usual thing, a normal thing, to send a text or email or phone call and say “hey, pray for me today!” why be alone, when you can find more strength and grace  for the journey with others alongside of you.

i believe that lifting up another and coming into agreement with God over someone else’s life, can be one of the most beneficial thing for your heart and theirs. it takes your eyes off yourself, your problems, and your tiny scope on life, and it sets your heart and mind on how you can love others well. how you can bear another’s burden, how you can help carry and shoulder another’s weight - whether it be in the natural or in prayer. (Gal 6:2)

with such genuine care i ask a question that i have at times been so eager and desperate for someone to ask me… how can i pray for you (whether the need is big or small, it matters not)?!  
please feel free to post your request in the comment section, or if you feel more comfortable Email Me, or call (if you have my number:)
i wanna pray with you and for you, so please, let me know how i can. or please let someone else you know how they could.

i kind of hit a strange patch.

5 Jan

i was recently reminded of how much i love the mystics and saints of old. i remember devouring the Catholicism shelf at half price books and this little hole in the wall bookstore i used to go to. i know i know, some of them can get strange, pretty “i worship mary”, but i always figured… we all can get a little strange sometimes.
in my early teen years i’ll admit, i kind of hit a strange patch. i became the hermit kid that read books written by very old, very smart, and very spiritual dead people. i was fascinated by their language, by their contemplative nature, but mostly… by the fact that they knew and spoke about the same God that i loved – but they spoke about him in a way that i had never heard or experienced for myself.
it makes me wonder if in another 900+ years… will people have the same fascination and awe with the writing that’s coming out, today?
i guess ill never know.

nevertheless, here is a favorite excerpt from a sermon by St. Bernard of Clairvaux.

“Love is sufficient of itself, it gives pleasure by itself and because of itself. It is its own merit, its own reward. Love looks for no cause outside itself, no effect beyond itself. It’s profit lies in its practice. I love because I love, I love that I may love. Love is a great thing so long as it continually returns to its fountainhead, flows back to its source, always drawing from there the water which constantly replenishes it.

Of all the movements, sensations and feelings of the soul, love is the only one in which the creature can respond to the Creator and make some sort of similar return however unequal though it be. For when God loves, all he desires is to be loved in return; the sole purpose of his love is to be loved, in the knowledge that those who love him are made happy by their love of him.

It is true that the creature loves less because she is less. But if she loves with her whole being, nothing is lacking where everything is given.”

one simple seed.

8 Nov

The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce an abundance beyond the wildest dreams. We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century.”
- Sidney Madwed

Remember back when Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages” was all the rage in the church world? 
Well I do.

 I remember taking the love language test and getting the results that I felt most loved when people hugged me (physical touch) or made my bed (acts of service…) and I felt the least impacted if someone tried to tell me how awesome I was. These results didn’t come as a surprise to me at all.
I attributed my lack of need for affirmation to my lack of giving affirmation. It didn’t come natural to give it, and even less natural to receive it.  My how the times have changed…

I always felt like I was above affirmation, like I was weak if I let someone encourage me, because my worth and value wasn’t to be in people and what they thought or how they felt.. it was supposed to be rooted in something deeper and more sacred and holy than that. Little did I realize, even that guy Paul, the holy apostle writing from the prison cell was right on the money when he said; 

11 So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it. (1Thes 5:11)

I didn’t know what I was missing out on. I didn’t realize that I could face a day full of discouragement and disappointment and with even just one encouraging sentence, a heavy weight… be lifted.

Because that’s the reality:: there can be a heavy weight or a redeeming power in our words. I don’t say this in a blasphemous way, but I think it’s funny how much power God gave us in the realm of our words.. and I think it probably wasn’t the best idea for him to do that, because we, in our weak and typically selfish nature don’t have that truth branded in our thinking. we fail to remember that one sentence or one conversations has the power to alter someone’s course.

That one bit of encouragement could have been just the push someone needed to pursue a dream or desire they’ve questioned for years.
That one compliment on her outfit or hair could boost her self-esteem and alter the poor image she’s had of herself, all day.
That one moment you actually took the time to translate the nice things you’re THINKING into WORDS that you spoke and encouraged another.

It’s a simple concept, but one that requires our heartfelt participation, love, and our time to do it.

It could make all the difference in the world in someone’s life.
And yet the beauty and the terror of it all, is that you never know when the  seed of encouragement you speak, could finally be the trigger of something deep down in the human heart. You never know! 
It could be an encouraging text or voicemail, an unexpected email or just a short conversation in passing. 
It matters not the method of how we encourage, as long as we’re doing it. As long as we’re not just thinking the good and kind things, but taking the time to let others know what’s been in our head all along.

 I can look back right now and remember certain words of encouragement, certain affirming conversations that truly altered things for me and my life. And they would have never known, in that moment, what their words meant to me. How they affected me. How they brought light and truth to my situation. They never knew. 

I want others to say that about us. That we took the time, that we meant what we were saying, and that we loved so deeply that encouragement couldn’t help but spill over. I dare say, the relationships around us would look much different if we accepted this challenge and truly had the desire to “build up hope” in others.
Let’s be good and faithful stewards of our words and the power they hold… knowing that someday, someone might come back to you and say “Do you remember that conversation we had? Well you may not know this, but what you said to me, was the spark that changed it all.”

“The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement.” – I believe that to be undoubtedly true. We have the opportunity to use every word as a seed: a seed that can produce confidence, security, vision, and hope in others. And lets always remember:: we may never know when that one simple seed, will produce a bounty of harvest in someone else’s life. 

let the sowing begin.

-S

simply and directly.

29 Sep

“There is no neutral corner in your human encounters, no antiseptic arena in which ‘nobody else is hurt’ or ‘nobody else knows about it.’ You either make people a little better, or leave them a little worse. You define your faith and moral posture in the ordinary stuff of your daily routine. The Kingdom belongs to those, as artless as children, who love others simply and directly, without thinking about anything but them. The inheritors of the Promise are those unsung folks who lend others a hand when they’re falling. That’s the only work that matters in the end.”

- Frederick Buechner 

frederick has got me thinking, today. it makes me wonder … if i could create a poll and have all those ive been in relationship with over the years buy in on it, would they say:-  ”Sarah gave life and helped me become better” or  “she drained me of life, and left me a little worse off”… the former response should be the obvious aim of our hearts.
cause love doesn’t require strings attached or something in return. it requires a childlike heart and hands willing to get messy.

simply and directly, lets love this way.

-S

Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Romans 15:1

the vote.

21 Sep

About 12 years ago, today, a vote was taken in our house.
It wasn’t your average poll of “what do we want for dinner tonight”, it was much more serious than that.

The question at the time was too loaded for me when my parents uttered the words…
“who wants another brother or sister?”

Somehow I was the only one who voted “no” when I quickly realized as a 13yr old what it would take to make this happen…. I was OBVIOUSLY not wanting that.!

 Sounds silly to some, when you realize the gap between the oldest and the youngest in my family is a solid 15yrs. A lot of people hear that we have 4 girls in our family and then the youngest is a boy.. and an 11 year old boy at that… I hear statements like “either that was an accident or man… you’re parents must have REALLY wanted a boy, huh?”
And as soon as I hear that, i wanna sock whoever says that in the face. Then I have to remember that one would assume such a thing looking from the outside in.

However, Grant was no accident and no last attempt for someone to carry on the Baker name. He was planned, and he was even planned before the foundations of the earth by a very real God that knew the Baker family couldn’t live without a brother!
And I promise you, as soon as you meet Mr. Grant Daniel Baker you will quickly realize what an incredible plan that was… and then you’ll realize how much life would absolutely suck without him!

 (I promise im not biased by my next paragraph, when you meet him you will agree whole-heartedly)

 My bubba happens to be one of the most enjoyable people to be around. He may be 11, but he will tell you EVERY single stat and fact about ANY NFL, MLB, and NCAA Football team. He is a BRAIN, not just in sports, but at school. He’s grades ahead and is basically a genius!! Sadly that gene skipped me…

He has my humor, so obviously he is dry and full of wit… yet sometimes he has glimmers of my dads corny jokes. Hopefully that will wear off. (kidding pops)
He also has my good looks, as people say we are practically twins.
He is a gentleman and one of the sweetest and most tender-hearted boys you will EVER meet. I can promise you that! He is so sensitive to the Lord already and so conscious of loving others well.
I think your average 11 year old boy would run as soon as you told him you wanted a hug and kiss, but not my brother. He is a lover to the max and will love on you even in front of his nerdy pimple faced friends.
Did I mention the kid talks ALL the time?! Now he didn’t exactly get that from me… im guessing our dad has something to do with that. But I love it.. (for the most part)

 Nevertheless, today is his 11th birthday and I would hate if there was a single person that didn’t know the deep love I have for my brother. Maybe there are 13 yrs separating us, but this kid is without a doubt one of the most special people to me!

 
Grant,
I love you so much and even though I may have voted against you when I was 13, I trust when you turn 13 you’ll totally understand where I was coming from. I hope you have an amazing day where you feel as special as you truly are to all of us! I pray that you continue to grown up as a godly gentleman and become an amazing man like our dad that we all look up to!
You’re so valuable and important in my life! Love you so much!

 Happy 11th Birthday Bubba!!

-s

(he’s also REALLY cool and wears fedora’s)

who defines love?

16 Aug

in human beings, love is a quality, a high-prized virtue; in God, love is His identity.
Brennan Manning

“in God, love is his identity.”
crazy words, that i can hardly wrap my mind around.
its polar opposite to what we know of others around us. We can identify people by their jobs, or family, or heart…. We even peg people by their ability or personality.
But God, He is entirely different.
1John 4:16 says “God is love”. It’s His identity. It’s what he operates out of, speaks from, and filters everything through.
He’s the very one that defines it, altogether…

A worship leader by the name of Todd Agnew has some really insightful thoughts on this, in one of his recent blogs entitled “God Is Love”::

One of the things I love about the internet is that I get to benefit from so many great preachers and great sermons. On the drive today I am going back and listening to sermons at my church from the years before I was there. I was listening to one from my pastor and friend Matt Carter. He talked about a book by Chris Tomlin and a line that impacted him, “A love like that can change a boy.” He then went on to talk about how love changes us, and what kind of love can truly change us. An earthly love can change our actions and maybe even our heart but only God’s love can change our identity. So I’ve been thinking on why that is. I believe it is because God’s love IS an identity. Therefore, His act of loving us identifies us. His love changes our identity because He is a definer. His loving us changes us from who we were into His beloved. And God’s love is an identity. 1 John 4:16a says, “God is love.” I have always interpreted this as God is loving, that what He does fits in the category of “loving”. That love is His identity. But as I’ve thought on it more over the years, I’m starting to think it might be the reverse. I think God is the definer. I think He is not landing in the category of “loving” but His actions are defining the category of “loving.” I think God is love’s identity. Who He is, defines what love is. Therefore, God’s love can change our identity because it is the fullness of God, with all the power of God contained therein. His love defines us.

Such an interesting outlook and perspective. i don’t at all think Todd Agnew is twisting the scripture to produce something, but I more think its a beautiful way of looking at the magnitude of God. To think it goes even further than knowing that He is “loving”, because He is, and He is with limitless measures… but to look and see within the Bible and to look at life all around, to see His actions and how He moves, it only reassures me that He is the only one that can truly define love. God is Love’s identity. Because if it was up to us, we’d have the most distorted idea that would shift and change like the rolling in and out of the tide.

I love looking at God from another angle, another view, and glimpse… our ability to comprehend the splendor and massiveness that is God, will never happen, but i believe in the wisdom of Solomon that “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.” (Prov 25:2)

“God’s love can change our identity because it is the fullness of God, with all the power of God contained therein. His love defines us.”

just some food for thought.

-S

His love never quits.

8 Aug

The furious longing of God is beyond our wildest desires, our hope or hopelessness, our rectitude or wickedness, neither cornered by sweet talk nor gentle persuasion. The furious longing of God, as Dan Berrigan writes, is “not to be reduced to a thing, a grand ideal; it is not to be reduced to a plaything, a caged songbird, for the amusement of children.” It cannot be tamed, boxed, captivated, housebroken, or temple broken. It is simply and startlingly Jesus, the effulgence of the Father’s love.
-Brennan Manning

It might be some of the best news you’ll hear all day, I know it is for me. It’s a reality I’m not aware of, and a pursuit towards me that I can’t always feel, but there it is. Strong, fierce, and just as relentless towards me in my best of days as it is in my darkest hour. And still…

His love never quits.

It’s a new paradigm and way of thinking. It’s one that will slowly wreck the walls we’ve strived to build in efforts to get us to a place closer and more worthy of His affection and approval. When in fact, these very walls we’ve created, are actually blocking out the very thing we’re reaching for. Grace, Mercy, and Love. We’re desperately trying to get in a room we’re already in. and still…

His love never quits.

you can’t help but feel like you need to pay Him back, because what He did for us was too great, too humble, and we are far too undeserving of such a great love. In one hand we’re aiming to pay Him back, while the other hand is failing to freely receive whats been freely given. When we fail to recognize His pursuit, He stands un-wavered with a heart full of a longing for relationship with you and me. and still…

His love never quits.

There is a furious longing of God to freely fill, heal, and make whole, every single inch of you and me. This desire is seamlessly knit together in the Fathers Redemptive heart. Even in our weakness and depraved human nature… even when hope, and vision is lost… The burning desire to reconcile you and me to himself - is fueled by a love that’s depth, height, and length, you and i will never find an end to. Be encouraged today.

-S

Psalm 118

1 Thank God because he’s good, because his love never quits.2 Tell the world, Israel, “His love never quits.”3 And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world, “His love never quits.”4 And you who fear God, join in, “His love never quits.”

Lets Start With….

18 Jan

From Let’s Start with Jesus by Dennis F Kinlaw :                      

“With this new understanding of the nature of God comes a new concept of love as well – a love determined by the nature of the subject who loves rather than by the nature of the object loved.”

“Plato gives a revealing picture of Socrates in The Symposium. Socrates reports to his friends how a wise woman explained to him that love is not something the greatest of the gods can experience. She said that to love means to desire; and desire is an indication of need. We love another because the other meets a need in our own experience. We know that the great gods are perfect and have no needs. Therefore, how can the gods love? The assumption behind Plato’s whole discussion is the conviction that the lover seeks in the beloved the fulfillment of the lover’s own needs. Socrates could not conceive of love that was primarily concerned with what the lover could do for the loved rather than what the lover could acquire from the loved. To Socrates love is self-oriented and concerned with how the other can satisfy the needs of the lover.”

“The unique picture of love Jesus presents was the exact opposite of the picture that the wise men of his world understood. Jesus embodies the Old Testament revelation of God’s hesed, or “steadfast love,” seen in God’s faithful love of Israel throughout the Old Testament. This love of God is a love relationship in which the lover loves not for what can be acquired, but for what can be given to meet the needs of the beloved. In fact, giving is the lover’s greatest joy.”

“Jesus’ paradigm is of one who loves to give whether the recipient responds or not.”

It’s a breath of fresh air to remember that I am loved perfectly because God is… God. He is the author of perfection. He isn’t fickle or self-serving. He won’t abuse or shame those who turn to Him. He doesn’t love like we do. He never has and never will.  We  must never measure His love against anyone we know on the earth. He is infinitely wise and is well acquainted with us.

*Lord, we need you to love you. Help us, today!*

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