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Paul Tripp on The Distortion of Envy.

17 Apr

im a big paul tripp fan.
i love his intermingling of theology and psychology, it attacks you from all angles but  in a really good and tender way.

i read this article of his on Envy almost a year ago when he wrote it and it has remained a source of self-evaluation for me from that moment  forward. every time i read it, i become aware of places in my heart that i’ve allowed envy in, roots that i couldn’t previously define. tripp goes far beyond hitting your initial thought of envy and it being this “i want what someone else has” kind of idea, but he expounds more solely on the distorted heart reality envy produces and how “Envy will cause us to bring God into the court of our own judgment and to sentence him as being unfaithful, unloving, and unkind.”

i promise this read will be worth your time.

________________________

“For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” (Ps 73:2)

I have said it countless times and written about it often; as a human being made in God’s image, you do not live life based on the facts of your experience, but based on your interpretation of the facts. No one acts, reacts and responds purely based on the actual facts of reality because the moment we are greeted with the facts, we take them into our hearts and process them. Our response is then based not so much on what is, but based upon what our heart has done with what is. Everyone of us is a philosopher, everyone of us is a theologian, everyone of us is an archaeologist who will dig through the past civilization of our own lives, trying to make sense of what has happened to us. Interpretation is an inescapable and profoundly important function of the human heart. The problem is that most often you and I are not aware that we are doing it, so our interpretation BECOMES our reality.

There is a second thing that I’ve often written and talked about, and when I say it to a crowd of people they always laugh even though I’m being quite serious; no one is more influential in your life than you are because no one talks to you more than you do. You and I are in a constant conversation with ourselves and the things we say to ourselves about ourselves, God, others, and life are always formative. Our internal conversation shapes our external responses to the situations, locations, and relationships we live in.

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “What in the world does this have to do with envy?” You must understand that envy is an interpretation. Envy is not an emotional response to what is. It is a particular interpretation of what is. Envy is a way of looking at and assessing what is that results in particular emotions and actions. But this needs to be said even more strongly; envy is not only an interpretation of what is, it is a distorted interpretation of what is. Envy is looking at life through a rippled window that will always distort whatever you see. In that way envy is madness. In its own way, envy separates you from reality. Envy expands certain facts, it neglects certain facts, and it reshapes certain facts; all the while presenting itself as a valid, accurate and reliable view of life. It makes you like the crazy guy on the street. What makes him crazy is that he doesn’t know he is crazy. He looks, speaks and acts weirdly because what he thinks is real simply isn’t real. Such is the world of envy. Envy is rooted in a distorted interpretation of life that will make you mad. Let me explain.

1. The distorted interpretation of envy makes it all about you. Envy always puts you at the center of your universe. It is all about what you have or don’t have. It shrinks your world down to the Lilliputian size of your wants, your needs, and your feelings. The good life then becomes the life that you say is good for you and the bad life is bad because you say you are not getting what you want or need. In this system the world is evaluated solely on the basis of what you do or don’t have. The problem is that life is not about you. You and I have been born into a world that by its very nature is a celebration of the glory of Another. I am not at the center of my world; God is. The fulfilling of my desires and needs is not the most important thing in the world; God’s will is. Envy is angry because my kingdom doesn’t seem to be coming and my will doesn’t seem to be being done. Anytime you have you at the center of your world, you have a distorted perspective on what is.

2. The distorted interpretation of envy is always idolatrous. Envy always puts the creation in the place of the Creator. Envy evaluates life on the basis of physical experiences, relationships, and possessions. Envy says that the good life is all about having a bigger pile of creation stuff than your neighbor does. Envy is obsessively comparative; always weighing the size of your stuff against the stuff of the people who are near you. And why does envy do this? Because envy places it’s identity, inner sense of well-being, and meaning and purpose in the basket of creation instead of in the hands of the Creator. Envy looks to creation for satisfaction and peace. Envy looks to creation for life. Envy looks to creation for what only the Creator can give.

3. The distorted interpretation of envy is self-righteous. What is the fundamental perspective of envy? Here it is; “I deserve better!” I am a better person than my neighbor, therefore, I should have more of this world’s goods, relationships, and positive experiences than my neighbor. That fact that envy begins with “I deserve” is the dead give away of its distortion and danger. Envy isn’t humble and approachable. It isn’t honest and properly introspective. It doesn’t weep over sins of the heart and hands. It isn’t blown away at little blessings and major graces. Envy allows you to look at yourself in a carnival mirror. Yes, you are seeing you, but with distortion. It convinces you that you have done what you could never do and deserve what you could never have earned. Envy denies your crushing need for grace. It forgets that you’ve broken every law. It ignores the fact that each of us is a rebel and a fool, deserving only of God’s rejection and wrath. Envy neglects to celebrate that every day you live and breathe you are afford gorgeous grace; because self-righteous people don’t notice grace because they don’t think they need it.

4. The distorted interpretation of envy is always short-sighted. Envy simply forgets that this is not all there is. Envy is very skilled at ignoring eternity. Envy has a truncated view of reality. Envy acts as if all there is the here and now. So envy forgets that this is not a destination. This is not the final place of peace, rest and satisfaction. In that way, envy misses the whole point of the here and now. This present moment was not designed to be a destination. No, it is a preparation for a final destination. There are times when God ordains it to be hard because that’s exactly what I need in order to be prepared for what’s to come. In this way, the moments of lack that envy rages against, are actually moments of grace. No, I am not having my needs withheld, but in grace, am being given exactly what I need. While I am focused on the here and now, a lovely Savior is preparing me for what is to come.

5. The distorted interpretation of envy is the soil of other sins. Envy never stops with envy. It always produces other sins of the heart and life as well. Envy will cause you to bring God into the court of your judgment and to sentence him as being unfaithful, unloving, and unkind. Envy will make you angry and you’ll act out that anger against the people who are near you. Envy will make you unloving and unkind, because, rather than considering the needs of others, you will be obsessively focused on your wants and needs. Envy will make you ungrateful. Envy will cause you to despise the blessings of others. Envy will put hatred in your thoughts and murder in your heart. It will cause you to will others ill instead of wanting blessing for them. Envy will cause you to say things you shouldn’t say and do things you shouldn’t do. Envy is a source sin.

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Wow, Paul, this is really disheartening!” Well, here’s the good news. Jesus conquered envy so you could too. His grace promises you a new heart. Because of his grace, you can grow in thankfulness and appreciation. Because of his grace, you can learn to run from old idols. Because of grace, you can find joy in loving others as you have been loved. Because of grace you can really come to believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Because of grace you can be free from a life that is self-centered and demanding, and begin to live a life that is Godward and thankful. Grace really does rescue you from you. The cross of Jesus Christ really is the only hope for the envious heart, because on that cross sin was defeated and righteousness was given. Trust the grace of Jesus and don’t let the madness of envy control and defeat you.

PAIN: a necessary thing.

13 Feb

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” –C.S. Lewis

There’s a terrible disease we’ve all heard of, but perhaps don’t truly know about. It’s a bacterial disease of the nervous system. A disease known as Leprosy.

The first thought that comes to my mind, is this flesh-rotting kind of imagery, but the reality is quite the contrary. In fact, a lepers flesh is just as healthy as yours or mine, the only difference is that they lack the ability to feel pain. Leprosy breaks down the nervous system within the body, deadening their nerve endings, and ultimately their ability to sense danger or harm to their bodies. Leprous people live a virtually pain-free existence.
That doesn’t sound so bad, huh?! I think many of us would do anything to live a pain-free life. Yet for the leper, the absence of pain is his greatest enemy when he can’t feel the piercing of its arrival.

We live in a crazy world that has an unbelievable gift at doing or using whatever it takes to shut down pain in our lives. Did you know that people in North America consume over thirty thousand TONS of aspirin a year? While we make up 5% of the world’s population, we are the ones consuming over 50% of all the manufactured drugs, one-third of which work on the central nervous system alone. We are the most advanced society in the world, at suppressing our pain –numbing what hurts, so we can feel no longer. The danger is, when we refuse to listen to our bodies, we ultimately risk destroying them.

I realize most of this content is speaking of physical pain, but let your mind move from that place alone, to the emotional and spiritual side.

In the same manner as one would suppress pain in the physical, we do so emotionally… All. The. Time.
and I understand why… Who likes being hurt, and feeling weak and vulnerable?! It’s probably not on the top of your to-do list.
But here’s the problem with that… Here’s the great danger in pain suppression::

Just as lepers lack the ability to listen to their body and to feel pain, they experiences the great danger of harming themselves and never knowing it,
WE as a people, suppressing pain with all our might – greatly risk an internal breakdown of the heart and spirit, and will never know it. We spend all of our energy, resources and time on trying to do all we can to numb and silence the greatest indicator that tells us that something within, greatly needs our attention.

C.S. Lewis said with such truth; “Pain insist upon being attended to” and without our attention to it, we risk living a life without warning.

Pain is necessary thing, because without it, we wouldn’t realize what we needed most.
Without pains warning, we wouldn’t know our need for peace when the waves of circumstance come crashing in on us from every side.
Without pains warning, we wouldn’t know our need to be found when all feels lost and unseen.
Without pains warning, we wouldn’t know our need for hope when the odds stack so highly against us that nothing seems possible anymore.
Without pains warning, we wouldn’t know our need for love, the unconditional kind that knows no limits, or boundaries, and has no desire to keep records of wrong doing.
Namely, without pains warning, we wouldn’t know our need for a savior, our need for His nearness and our desperate need for His daily activity in our lives and hearts.

What I’m realizing is that pain is not an enemy to be suppressed; rather, pain is a weapon against a numb existence and if seen with the right perspective, can be a valuable tool in identifying the places we need restoration and healing, as opposed to a crippling blow that paralyzes.

I think our society has things backwards. We seem to believe that the people in pain are the ones that need help. Surely they need some form of pain-killer to suppress and numb out the bad. But now… now I’m beginning to realize that the ones who don’t feel pain, are in fact the ones that need the most help.

Pain is a necessary thing, because it reminds us that we’re weak, human, and in great need – every single day – of a gracious and loving God who desires to carry every weight, heal aching hurt, and redeem our hearts to Him.

So instead of running from pain and suppressing it with whatever seems fitting, let’s look at it square in the face and ask why it’s present, why “this” is painful, and listen for its response. Listen to its warning that shouts of the places we need to attend to. Listen to why it’s taken up residence in our heart and mind, so we can identify that place of pain and turn into our place of need. Our great and continual need of a rescuing God.

Matthew 5:3
“Blessed are those who know their need of God, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”

alive with His life.

8 Feb

The Universal Presence is a fact. God is here. The whole universe is alive with His life. And He is no strange or foreign God, but the familiar Father of our Lord Jesus Christ whose love has for these thousands of years enfolded the sinful race of men. And always He is trying to get our attention, to reveal Himself to us, to communicate with us. We have within us the ability to know Him if we will but respond to His overtures. (And this we call pursuing God!) We will know Him in increasing degree as our receptivity becomes more perfect by faith and love and practice.

-A.W. Tozer – The Pursuit of God

 

the non-negotiables.

27 Jan

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
- Aristotle

This quote has become a favorite of mine, because it brings me back to the reality, that the few key life-giving sources that fuel my health and growth in life, must, without a doubt, become non-negotiables.

Because truthfully, time is a very hard thing for me to steward and balance. Between getting up at 5:45am to start my day and not returning home from work till 5:45pm – the little time I have thereafter, has always been a challenge for me to juggle.
Family, friends, writing, entertainment, rehearsals, eating out, socializing with actual humans… They’re all time suckers, and can contribute in both negative and positive ways on the human heart.

Why does life have to be so involved, so busy, so… consuming?!
With so much to draw from, so much to entice.
Yet we willingly invest in things, with full knowledge that we wont receive anything in return. No payback for our valuable time spent. 

And here’s the tough pill to swallow::  health and growth doesn’t just happen. It’s something you earnestly pursue, once you’ve settled your mind and heart on their worth and value.

(i’m really horrible at this) BUT I’m slowly learning, that there are some things in life that must be non-negotiable, in order to create healthy habits that maintain a healthy mind, heart, and life.

Define what those life-giving and contributing factors are in your life, so you can invest in the things that will profit you. And lets do our best to make them non-negotiables.

Ephesians 5:15-17
Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility, not as men who do not know the meaning and purpose of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time, despite all the difficulties of these days.

a reminder for those who create.

12 Jan

“Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed.
Our gifts and talents should also be turned over to Him. They should be recognized for what they are, God’s loan to us, and should never be considered in any sense our own. We have no more right to claim credit for special abilities than for blue eyes or strong muscles.”

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God.

refuse: a new year’s resolution

9 Jan

refuse to live at a distance.

It’s my new year’s resolve. And what’s written on a post-it-note on my desk as a daily reminder. Don’t get me wrong – eating healthy, working out, reading more, writing more, practicing more… they’re all on my list.

But this is what i want most: refusing to live at a distance

I want to be active and present, in just about every area of my life.
I want that with my family, the people who mean the most and hold such a high worth and value in my heart.
I want that with my friendships, making the time to dig deeper, and together, grow stronger.
Mainly, I want it to be a thriving core-value in my heart, the well-spring of life. That all else would flow from that place.

Because distance is all too easy to be comfortable with. But intimate friendship, is an active pursuit of the heart.

My Resolve:
To Refuse to let the stresses of life, the daily routine, and the convenience of entertainment become the wedge that distances my heart and affections from what matter most.

a cultivated heart.

9 Jan

“A carefully cultivated heart will, assisted by the grace of God, foresee, forestall, or transform most of the painful situations before which others stand like helpless children saying “Why?””

Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart.

i kind of hit a strange patch.

5 Jan

i was recently reminded of how much i love the mystics and saints of old. i remember devouring the Catholicism shelf at half price books and this little hole in the wall bookstore i used to go to. i know i know, some of them can get strange, pretty “i worship mary”, but i always figured… we all can get a little strange sometimes.
in my early teen years i’ll admit, i kind of hit a strange patch. i became the hermit kid that read books written by very old, very smart, and very spiritual dead people. i was fascinated by their language, by their contemplative nature, but mostly… by the fact that they knew and spoke about the same God that i loved – but they spoke about him in a way that i had never heard or experienced for myself.
it makes me wonder if in another 900+ years… will people have the same fascination and awe with the writing that’s coming out, today?
i guess ill never know.

nevertheless, here is a favorite excerpt from a sermon by St. Bernard of Clairvaux.

“Love is sufficient of itself, it gives pleasure by itself and because of itself. It is its own merit, its own reward. Love looks for no cause outside itself, no effect beyond itself. It’s profit lies in its practice. I love because I love, I love that I may love. Love is a great thing so long as it continually returns to its fountainhead, flows back to its source, always drawing from there the water which constantly replenishes it.

Of all the movements, sensations and feelings of the soul, love is the only one in which the creature can respond to the Creator and make some sort of similar return however unequal though it be. For when God loves, all he desires is to be loved in return; the sole purpose of his love is to be loved, in the knowledge that those who love him are made happy by their love of him.

It is true that the creature loves less because she is less. But if she loves with her whole being, nothing is lacking where everything is given.”

the greatest mystery: a christmas reality

21 Dec

“The fact that the Son of God was found lying in a manger tells you volumes about the divine love that is your only hope of rescue.”
-Paul Tripp

What ridiculous depths he will descend in his wild quest of man… one of those ridiculous depths is upon us.
it’s actually something I can only think of as the greatest mystery the world will ever see.

“the word became flesh and dwelt among us.” (John 1:1)

Maybe you’ve never taken the time to ponder this mystery, this ridiculous depth taken by the man Jesus. Here we are in the thick of the “holiday season” and do we find ourselves in awe of this great mystery that took place on the earth thousands of years ago? I’m not talking about how Santa’s Sled gets airborne or how he delivers all those presents in one night… im talking about the mystery of how God the Father sent His dearly beloved son to the earth, for you and me. That Jesus, one who is one with God, didn’t think so much of himself that He willingly set aside the privileges of deity and desired to become a slave, a man, and a servant to the world.
A human being he became, FOREVER. He took on flesh and bone, with crimson blood coursing through His veins-pumping the very heart that longed for our devotion, affection, and deepest love in return. He did not consider equality with God, but He humbled himself and carried out His obedience to the extreme of Death on a cross. He became a man so that he could become the great mediator that would bring God and man together. He is the only hope of our rescue, and is truly, the only reason for this joyful season.

such humility
such kindness
such devotion
such selflessness
such great love

It can only be a mystery, that someone would give of themselves so freely. 

Don’t let the busyness steal your “awe” this holiday season, but let the joy of His humble birth fill you, today.
That every crack, every corner, and every inch of space in our heart would be filled and consumed with the wonder of Christ.

Merry Christmas to you all!
-S

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 3 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, to being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
-Philippians 2:6-11

my story is important.

12 Dec

“My story is important not because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right, the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours… it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity, as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of us more powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually.”

- Frederick Buechner

we all have a story to tell.
a story that will be undoubtedly familiar to another.
it’s in essence, what binds us all together.
circumstances. fear. tragedy. joy. pain. love.
its life, and we’re all living it.
maybe your story, your rescue, your redemption - will be that beam of light for another. 
the light that someone needs to put one foot in front of the other.
that they would see our refuge and strength.
our ever-present help in time in need.

this is why my story is important.

-S
(psalm 46:1)

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