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risk and reward.

25 Jan

what would it feel like to not care
to let the wind really blow this time
i mean really howl with strength
freely without a single obstacle to hinder its gust
not limited by barricades built around places we want protected and untouched
insecure walls shaking faulty with disbelief
let it blow I say
fiercely
kindly
violently
ruin everything in your path with a force so strong and unseen
that destruction and death would force a rebuilding
a rebirth of living beauty both new and pure alike

Living freely always takes a backseat to what’s comfortable and easy. Little courage means little risk, less of a struggle and more aiming at targets you know you can hit. Let’s go where the odds are better, where the end result is already known, so coming up short won’t even be in the equation. But what if those carefully built walls made to protect from rejection and disappointment were shaken a bit?! What if the risk and reward of seeing Gods faithfulness displayed, far outweighed the reward of seeing our standard formulas create the same results we’ve always seen?!

I don’t know what that kind of life would look like. What kind of shape and form it would take. I imagine that it would seamlessly resemble the life Jesus led here on the earth. The life we read about in black and red. The life that’s steadily become greatly unfamiliar and uncomfortable to mimic. Yet is the life we’re called to look, feel, and taste like, one freely filled with courage and risk.

Maybe we can’t just flip on the switch of courage and life be different from this moment on… but I do know, with utmost assurance, that grace will willingly strengthen our hearts, and steady our hands, so we can start tearing down these walls we’ve built.
brick by brick.
fear by fear.
till we’re saved from ourselves.

a heart to give, always receives.

19 Jan

“A heart to give, always receives”

Aside from being amazing, there is nothing I would say describes my parents more, than the word “givers.”
Coming from a larger family (5 kids) – stinginess wasn’t tolerated in my house. Particularly when 4 little girls were sharing the same small bedroom. Maybe you’re thinking, “well, kids will be kids, right?” well… my parents didn’t really buy into that concept. Trust me, we weren’t all perfect little robots, but our aim was always clearly set before us and regardless of our many attempts and failures – we had a clear understanding that stinginess/selfishness was not, and is still not acceptable behavior. I didn’t fully understand this then, but im growing to learn “why”, a little more everyday.

 “we’re not stingy, we’re givers!”

I remember that phrase so clearly spoken time and time again by my mom. In the midst of frustration as me and my sisters would be playing an unintentional game tug-a-war with a favorite shirt or toy, “NO, this is mine! MOM, tell her this is mine!”
I think after a while that phrase started sinking in, and little by little it’s settling somewhere gladly in our hearts…. “we’re givers”

Don’t get me wrong, sharing toys and clothes weren’t necessarily my favorite thing growing up, but I believe those seeds planted when I was young, to be a giver and to live openhandedly – were seeds sown from daily choices my parents made to instill in us very REAL and ever-PRESENT biblical truths… even at a young age.
I’m grateful they knew these truths of giving with a glad heart and living with an open hand would still be just as vital and just as valuable today, as they were 20yrs ago when all I had to worry about was someone playing with that new toy I just got for Christmas.

As I grew older I learned that money wasn’t mine and I didn’t have a right to claim and hoard it as my own, but it was a gift.
I would have my heart set on buying something of excess and a financial need would come up with someone… I’d take a second thought about giving.

“It’s just money. It’s not yours anyway, Sarah.”

A truthful reminder would be spoken by one of my parents and I would realize again, the vital importance of living with an open hand.
Of course, it was my responsibility to pay my bills, repay my debts, and give my tithe to God. But all that was left over was to be used however He saw fit. Whenever the door of someone’s need flung wide open.

I still don’t have it down right and never will. I fall extremely short of living a selfless life a million times a day. But my aim is to always remember those principles that I learned when I was a kid.

Be a giver. Live with an open hand.
Freely give as you have freely been given to.

That very well may be the key to unlocking a heart longing to give and pour out. To truly believe that all I’ve been given in this life is a gift. The lungs i have to breathe in and out the air i need, the tips of my fingers i use to type this, and even the money in my bank account. It’s all a gift. A gift to be funneled through willingly open hands and a humbled heart that expects nothing in return. 
I’m learning that this kind of lifestyle requires trust, that – im all in – all or nothing – flat on my face or running free – sink or swim kind of trust. A trust that must be confidently placed in a good shepherd, that leads our hearts and lives so carefully.
i shall not want.

a heart to give, always receives.

Proverbs 11
24 The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. 25 The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.

a sincere question.

13 Jan

“How can I pray for you?”

ive been asked this question plenty of times.
sometimes i was annoyed by it and felt as if it was someones duty at church to ask me this - as if it were just a protocol question, but i wouldn’t feel a genuine care from them…
and other times i was dying for someone to ask me that question. just waiting with anticipation – who will care about me, who will fight with me and help shoulder this weight that’s wearing me down?!

i have a feeling, there’s gotta be more people out there like me.
maybe you’re waiting for someone to ask you this question, wanting so badly to lean into someone else’s prayers for once.
your need for prayer could come from deep tragedy that’s left you living without hope, or maybe you’re having a crappy day at work and your kids are driving you bonkers, or maybe your dad was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and you feel like all breath and faith was just knocked out of you.
no matter the degree of trial or level of circumstances, there is always a part of you, that needs another. that needs someone to come into the trenches, grab a shovel, and help you shoulder a weight too heavy for one.

and here is the reason for the long paragraphs above.
i want you to know that there is someone who loves and cares about your needs, your struggles, and your pain.
i want to know how i can pray for you.
how i can agree with God about whats going on in your life or what you’re believing Him for, today.
i want that to become a new common trend with you, my friends, family, and others. i want it to be a usual thing, a normal thing, to send a text or email or phone call and say “hey, pray for me today!” why be alone, when you can find more strength and grace  for the journey with others alongside of you.

i believe that lifting up another and coming into agreement with God over someone else’s life, can be one of the most beneficial thing for your heart and theirs. it takes your eyes off yourself, your problems, and your tiny scope on life, and it sets your heart and mind on how you can love others well. how you can bear another’s burden, how you can help carry and shoulder another’s weight - whether it be in the natural or in prayer. (Gal 6:2)

with such genuine care i ask a question that i have at times been so eager and desperate for someone to ask me… how can i pray for you (whether the need is big or small, it matters not)?!  
please feel free to post your request in the comment section, or if you feel more comfortable Email Me, or call (if you have my number:)
i wanna pray with you and for you, so please, let me know how i can. or please let someone else you know how they could.

a reminder for those who create.

12 Jan

“Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed.
Our gifts and talents should also be turned over to Him. They should be recognized for what they are, God’s loan to us, and should never be considered in any sense our own. We have no more right to claim credit for special abilities than for blue eyes or strong muscles.”

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God.

how tight of a grip.

10 Jan

If there’s anything I’ve learned about grace, it’s that it always comes when I least expect it.
In the heavy days where the air felt too thick to swallow or cut through. In the dry days, when the road ahead looked bleak, no longer full of enchantment, fulfillment, and life. The only thing consistant was time, and how it passed before me.

It was in those times, I learned most tenderly and assuredly just  how tight of a grip grace could have on me.

And It’s not that it prevents the pain, but it will kindly soften It’s blow.
It will deaden a sting before the venom can quench the life and hope right out of you.
And beautifully enough, for the days that feel like the blow was felt hard and sharp – and the sting, so painful and present. Real grace is found there too. In that moment when your legs are too tired to continue with shoulders too exhausted to uphold, and a heart too afraid…

You can LEAN.  
Fully, completely, confidently, arms open wide, numb heart and emotions finally exposed – into a grace given so freely. Standing tall, and strong, it’s there – ready to relieve a weight you were never meant to bear – while gladly offering you a strength you never thought was conceivable. It’s a beautiful, humbling, and frightening exchange of weakness.

This Grace is received.
 
it’s breathed in like the air
rushing in so it can fill
every open wound uncovered
it lifts
every entangling weight
it carries
a heart dense and heavy
it will revive
and redeem.
like a gift willingly given
so gladly given
it must be received.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Receive and experience the amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, deep, deep within yourselves. (Mat 11:28, Phil 4:23)

refuse: a new year’s resolution

9 Jan

refuse to live at a distance.

It’s my new year’s resolve. And what’s written on a post-it-note on my desk as a daily reminder. Don’t get me wrong – eating healthy, working out, reading more, writing more, practicing more… they’re all on my list.

But this is what i want most: refusing to live at a distance

I want to be active and present, in just about every area of my life.
I want that with my family, the people who mean the most and hold such a high worth and value in my heart.
I want that with my friendships, making the time to dig deeper, and together, grow stronger.
Mainly, I want it to be a thriving core-value in my heart, the well-spring of life. That all else would flow from that place.

Because distance is all too easy to be comfortable with. But intimate friendship, is an active pursuit of the heart.

My Resolve:
To Refuse to let the stresses of life, the daily routine, and the convenience of entertainment become the wedge that distances my heart and affections from what matter most.

the greatest mystery: a christmas reality

21 Dec

“The fact that the Son of God was found lying in a manger tells you volumes about the divine love that is your only hope of rescue.”
-Paul Tripp

What ridiculous depths he will descend in his wild quest of man… one of those ridiculous depths is upon us.
it’s actually something I can only think of as the greatest mystery the world will ever see.

“the word became flesh and dwelt among us.” (John 1:1)

Maybe you’ve never taken the time to ponder this mystery, this ridiculous depth taken by the man Jesus. Here we are in the thick of the “holiday season” and do we find ourselves in awe of this great mystery that took place on the earth thousands of years ago? I’m not talking about how Santa’s Sled gets airborne or how he delivers all those presents in one night… im talking about the mystery of how God the Father sent His dearly beloved son to the earth, for you and me. That Jesus, one who is one with God, didn’t think so much of himself that He willingly set aside the privileges of deity and desired to become a slave, a man, and a servant to the world.
A human being he became, FOREVER. He took on flesh and bone, with crimson blood coursing through His veins-pumping the very heart that longed for our devotion, affection, and deepest love in return. He did not consider equality with God, but He humbled himself and carried out His obedience to the extreme of Death on a cross. He became a man so that he could become the great mediator that would bring God and man together. He is the only hope of our rescue, and is truly, the only reason for this joyful season.

such humility
such kindness
such devotion
such selflessness
such great love

It can only be a mystery, that someone would give of themselves so freely. 

Don’t let the busyness steal your “awe” this holiday season, but let the joy of His humble birth fill you, today.
That every crack, every corner, and every inch of space in our heart would be filled and consumed with the wonder of Christ.

Merry Christmas to you all!
-S

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 3 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, to being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
-Philippians 2:6-11

it’s all been done before.

8 Dec

“Someone said, “It’s all been done before.”
Yes, I agreed, but we all have to say it in our own voice.”
- Madeleine L’Engle.

Being involved in “the arts” (writing, music, photography), I know firsthand how toiling this thought can be. It has the power to be an all-consuming fire.

“it’s all been done before”

Oh how quickly those 5 words can grow to stifle every ounce of creativity and courage within. And I don’t mean just for the artsy fartsy folks out there. Because truly, for us all, that thought is looming and present… and the danger is that it will keep us bound, it will keep us afraid, and it will keep us quiet.

What a courageous reality L’Engle is living from. And I truly believe we’ll never be free to be ourselves, if we don’t catch on as well. To live from a place of knowing  and believing that your voice, your perspective, and your expression – matters. And it matters greatly!
Yes, I absolutely agree, there is nothing new under the sun… however; there is also no one on this earth like you.

Sure, maybe it’s all been done before, but it hasn’t been done like you would do it. What you have to say and what you have to give is unique to you. It’s a result of your upbringing and background, your experiences in life and loss - and how you responded to them… it all creates this beautiful strand of DNA within that separates you from anyone else. It’s the result of God’s amazing attention to detail and his desire to make you and your voice, significant and valuable. and undoubtedly DIFFERENT!

This is where a new responsibility lies. The the responsibility to be you, and only you, to the best of your ability.
Because at the end of the day, no one can tell a story the same way you can.

I’m learning this more and more, everyday.

-S

in all things.

23 Nov

“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing…. Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” – Ann Voskamp

 

The holidays are always the busiest time of the year. Thanksgiving is upon us and people are going nuts. We’re grocery shopping, trying to find that old recipe that we’ll never make as good as our mom did, and decorating up a storm because we’re all so… in a hurry. It’s this build up for a morning parade, afternoon football game, and an evening food coma and then… in a blink of an eye, this day of thanks will be behind us.

It’s easy for me to let the busyness and the hurry, rob me from fully entering and embracing what this day (and every day) should be about.

Yesterday I found out  that my friend’s wife no longer has cancer. She had a PET scan two days ago and the amazing results were that there is no longer a single trace of lymphoma in her body. She will still be spending her Thanksgiving in the Hospital doing her second to last round of Chemo. Nevertheless, I can promise you that through the pain and discomfort she’ll be experiencing tomorrow… while we are watching the cowboys lose and getting our 2nd helping of pumpkin pie.. She will be in a hospital bed full of thanks! Maybe full of tears, discomfort, and a tired mind and body from this battle, too - But her heart… Her heart will be gushing over with thankfulness, for another day of living and breathing in and out an air that’s full of grace and hope and life. 

I want to slow down, take a deep and long breath, and soak in the endless blessings around me. Because I don’t want to wait for tragedy to teach me what I should really be thankful for, I want to live with eyes that see differently. With eyes that see in all things, the kindness of a loving God that willingly gives me what I have not earned and will never deserve.

Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
Let it be a day of endlessly reflecting upon the amazing gifts we’ve been freely given.

 -S

social convenience: a blessing and a curse

15 Nov

“We’ve become all too familiar with a God we hardly know.” – Bobby Connor

 
In a world where social media is a fiercely driven force in almost everyone’s life, it’s really easy to think you know someone.
Kind of like how people feel like they know Kim Kardashian or John Mayer because they follow them on twitter…
(you know who you are…)
I don’t know how many conversations ive been apart of where I’ve heard someone talking about a celebrity they follow on twitter and somehow they’re casually brought into conversation. I’d hear something like; “oh my gosh, John Mayer was just saying something about that yesterday…”

Excuse me…..?

Or how many times have we met someone who we befriended via social network FIRST and then meet them in real flesh and blood life, and in the introduction someone says, “its so great to finally meet you, I feel like I already know you because of Facebook!”

It’s amazing that we can follow the lives of people (me included) and feel like we know someone. On Facebook we’re seeing pictures of you and your family in matching Christmas pajamas circa 1991, or embarrassingly tagged photos of you from greasy brace faced high school days… and after time we become so familiar with someone because of them popping up on our news feed or our twitter feed- that we begin to build this false reality of friendship and knowing.

I’m not saying that’s all bad and im not going to challenge us all to have a secular CD burning party like we did in youth group, but instead, a social network account deleting party… because that would be ridiculous.

I just want to be careful. I wanna be careful that I don’t become numb and lost in a socially convenient world. When in all reality, it’s easy to let these methods spill over into important areas and relationships in our lives. You know, like the relationships with real human beings that we know and love. We track with them in a new way this day and age, and should be conscious that we don’t begin to think we’re maintaining something that’s not even there or real and tangible.

Mostly, I want to be careful that in a world fueled by blogs, podcast, inspirational tweet quotes, and status updates that I don’t become too familiar… I don’t want to find myself so familiar with hearing about a God that in all reality; I hardly know and encounter on a daily basis. Because YouVersion on your iPhone is a great mobile way to have the Word on-the-go, and Donald Millers blog is indeed filled with truth and wonderful perspective. However, they shouldn’t take the place of making the time to crack open that huge book with the smallest letters, feeling those delicately thin and worn sheets of paper on the tips of your fingers, and experiencing the joy of letting those little black and red words breathe on us and fill us with a renewed life and hope again.

Just like following John Mayer’s tweets everyday won’t make you friends with him… small group meetings, christian books, and inspiring blogs won’t be a substitute for a real relationship.

Please don’t get me wrong… All of these amazing and endless resources we have at our finger tips should without a doubt be that strike of the match, but they should never be used as the wood to keep that flame alive.

I’m speaking mostly to myself on this one.
It’s time to get back to the basics – where a big book with tiny letters, a journal, and an open heart make all the difference.

-S

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